Unless they prove it, then it was my plan.
@2332 And I suggest you stop patronizing people. Just because I don't happen to share your religious views doesn't mean I'm young or confused. I'm neither. And I don't hate Christianity (or any other religion for that matter), I just find it amusing … read more →
Create man with foreskin - command him to cut it off.
Unconditional love - with conditions.
I gave you free will - so use it exactly as I command you to.
Create world for humans - 70% salt water.
Accidentaly make humans too smart - they stop believing in me.
Prohibit abortion - cause miscarriages.
Kill millions wth natural disasters - survivors praise you for letting them live.
Jews are my chosen people - lol holocaust.
Hide fossils in ground - troll scientists.
christain total mother fucker!.. so what if i cuss? it sayz i got a free will so what?!
I'm going to create man and woman with original sin. Then I'm going to impregnate a woman with myself as her child, so that I can be born. Once alive, I will kill myself as a sacrifice to myself. To save you from the sin I originally condemned you to.
@3475 Rape and kill christians
The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolicaly eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree... Yeah, makes perfect sense.
were all in the same shit. but if thers a god then is he not a alien?
Old Testament: God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her "Apple or GTFO" (cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former and then her and her fuck buddy Adam get b& from Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious fucking incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really).
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis. God lol'd.
Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.
New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some CP.
Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school Jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's serer, and laughed at the Jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.
OMG THAT IS SOOOOO FUNNY!!! HA HA HAHA
All images were stolen found on /b/.
There's some OC over there, though ---------->