Disguised weapons

Original ad:
**** Disguisable weapons wanted ****
Wanted: hidden blades, belt bucke knives, cane swords, etc...
Offering: cash, items for barter
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Hey,
I saw your ad looking for concealable/disguised weapons. I have several fine-crafted items you may be interested in. Respnd if you are interested and I will send you pictures and prices.
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I am. Let's see what you got.
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Here you go.
Looks like a normal spoon, right?
Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5" half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.
I am asking $50 for the blade. Let me know if you want to stop by and take a look at it.
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That is stupid as hell and looks like crap. Unless you have anything better to offer, don't waste my time.
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I am sorry you feel that way about the spoon blade. I do have some other weapons that I think you will feel differently about.
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Fine. But if it is another knife duct taped to a spoon then you can fuck off.
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Thank you for re-considering. Her are three quality disguised wheapons that I think you will love:

At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.

Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. The weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.

This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but it is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box.

Let me know if you want any of these items.
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You're a fucking dumbass, shitbrained, asswipe, retarded dipshit. You prob walk around with that shit too you dumb motherfucker. I hope you get hit by a car. Fuck off, eat shit, and die.